i need to clear something up here. despite rumors to the contrary, the scars from years of wondering who all those people were who were leaving work early and taking up every february 14th dinner reservation in this huge city - and whether or not i will ever be one of them - do not magically go away once someone hands you a marriage certificate. that is why they are called “scars.” they dont go away, no matter how much vitamin e oil you put on them.
now that i am married i suppose i am expected to shift gears and join the masses in embracing this still-cruel holiday. it may no longer be cruel to me, personally, but it is still cruel.
where there was once valentines- day- inflicted- emptiness for myself, there is now valentines- day- inflicted- empathy for all the single people in the world, whether they are happily single or not. there is also a bunch of guilt since i am now one of those couples i admired/resented from a distance for all those years. where do i go from here? what will tomorrow be like for this freaky new person i have become?
once on our honeymoon, my husband told me that his love for me was “bordering on obsession.” neat, huh? no one has ever told me something so creepy-cool in my life.
so i am dedicating this holiday to my husband, rob. i may still resent valentines day, but i love you. even if its a little creepy and makes me a complete friggin’ sell-out. xxoo
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