i went to century city mall the other day, and made a beeline for sephora.
i found myself walking rapidly for no apparent reason except that everyone else was doing so, in their self-imposed christmas shopping frenzies. i fantasized about jumping on the mall’s p.a. system and reminding all the shoppers that since this is america, we don’t run out of things like useless christmas gifts, so chill the heck out.
anyway, as i was literally running through sephora (?), i caught a glimpse of a guy, and this is what went through my head in what might have been a nanosecond, if i knew what a nanosecond was:
1 - that guy is cute
2 – but, wait, i’m married
3 – hey, i am married to that guy
i was just so excited to unexpectedly run into rob. i think this means i have a good marriage. lets just hope the gifts he was buying at sephora show up under the tree for me, or i will have to re-evaluate that statement.
so next i went into l’occitane, and when i was paying for my item, i asked the very serious cashier girl if they accept the kcrw fringe benefits card (kcrw is the best radio station ever and everyone should know about it, even if you don’t live in la…anyway, if you made a donation to the station, you get a discount card to tons of shops in the area). she looked at me like i was crazy and said that she had never heard of it and had no idea what i was talking about. besides being redundant, it was her way of telling me she thought i was a cheap piece of crap who was looking for freebies. she pointed out that they don’t give any discounts at all, prompting me to try to lighten the mood by asking, “ is it because you are greedy?”
i thought that was a pretty funny question, but she clearly didn’t. as she handed me my bag, she pointed out that they give free gift wrapping, like i should be awed, impressed and humbled. i really wish i had the balls to say to her as i was leaving, “merry christmas. lets hope santa brings you a sense of humor. and a radio.”
i hate when i waste funny lines on unfunny people.
merry christmas, fond reader. i hope at least you think i am funny. and i hope you aren’t afraid to say “merry christmas” to everyone. its important to keep it alive. xxoo
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